6th May, 2016
Budapest, Hungary

Today I enjoyed daygaming in university district of Budapest after a while I moved on to the center and to main tourist street (Vaci). I spotted a sporty girl that was swinging her tight ass like a proper salsa dancer. She was walking fast but I decided stop her. She responded right away positively when I went into describing her salsa dancer walk.

First interesting thing happened when she after 1-2 minutes asked my Facebook but I ignored it and continued talking. Soon after she continued leading and invited me to sit with her by the fountain. I thought for a second about frame things but concluded that as long as she leads to right direction, I can let her lead a bit.
Her English wasn’t great but as many times, it did improve all the time while she talked more and more. She wasn’t shy at all to use it. She was physical and flirty from the get go. I love interactions where girl is full of feminine energy and talks a lot. I just needed to lead conversation to right direction, give a playful stoic masculine polarity to her femininity.

I suggested having beers in the bank of Danube and she happily complied. Next surprise was that she insisted to pay both our drinks in the store. She had told about her life and that her family was very rich. We sat in a bench and she continued telling about her life like daddy issues and how important her work was to her. She had some pride to her independent lifestyle and also caring important things to her, which I appreciated.

It started to rain a bit so I started move her closer to my apartment and we went for drinks to bar nearby. We went to back of the bar to sofas. First she didn’t accept me to sit next to her, so we sat opposite each other continued talking about life in general and about her ex-boyfriends. How she is caring for animals in the shelters. She showed plenty of sexy model shoot pictures of her but I remained unaffected. I kept saying that I want her to be a normal girl, she needs to be real with me.

Conversation was getting naturally more sexual and there was sexual tension. Finally, I moved next to her and we looked more of her pictures. She pushed herself to me. Eventually she put her legs on top of mine. Kissed me in the neck. Soon after we started kissing. She was coming into me pretty hard. I knew that I needed to cool things down. She was pushing for physical escalation and I was trying to build rapport and not be carried away with make outs. At this point her hands were in my crutch. She was very concerned if there was cameras in the bar and she turned off the lights in the back part of the bar. She stroked my cock and my hands were all over her also rubbing her clit.

I knew that I needed to move the interaction but she was completely opposed to coming at my place. Same time she was talking dirty but asking if I think Hungarian girls are easy. Finally, I said ambiguously let’s go and she followed. Again she insisted that she wanted to pay the whole bill. I took her to the metro station, she refused to use it. So I decided that let’s keep walking with talking about the destination. My place was at this point 20 minutes’ walk away. After some walking we sit down to a church park and I fingered her a first orgasm. She realized that we were in the wrong side of the city. I told her that I will take walk her to her place but first I need to use the toilet and grab a fruit in my place.

When we were walking at my home street she refused to walk the street as her current fuckbuddy was living in the street. Finally, she complied and went to my place. I went to the toilet, put some music on and started to eat my mandarin very slow. We started kissing, she grabbed me and started to suck my dick. All the time she was warm and cold. One time it was on and other times off, I remained calm. Gave her space and then went for it again. Suddenly, she pulled down her pants and bend over my kitchen table. Then she suddenly stopped me and said that we can’t do this and put her pants up. To be honest my dick was also at this point tired of all the hours of cock teasing that had happened I met her 3 pm and I started to walk her of to home 10 pm.

Along the evening she asked about other girls I been seeing and I told her openly. She said that it’s good for guys to have several girls so they won’t be needy but for girls it’s better to be only with one guy. She insisted that we change contact details, both numbers and Facebook. I have no expectations about this as she seemed very impulsive. I tried to build deep connection and she did cry a bit when I called it out that she tried to protect herself being strong. We will see if connection built was strong enough that we will see each other’s again.

I lost a lot of frame battles but I still managed to lead the overall interaction and provide masculine opposite to her strong femininity. One example of frame battle was that we were walking by the road and I was by the road side as it’s normal for guys to do. When she noticed that she demanded to change, I explained to custom her. But she said that women on the road side and dog or bitch other side. I change the position few times but she came so angry that I decided that it’s not worth it. Loose the battle to win the war. If we meet again, I do have to work to keep my frame strong also in details like this.

This happened yesterday and I won’t keep thinking about her although she is so far hottest girl I been with. I will do some daygame and then I have a second date with an another girl I really like.

9th February 2016
Budapest, Hungary

I was doing my daygame today normally in Buda side. I was getting warmed up with my approaches. After a while, I saw a business like woman gliding in the street with her dinner bag. I chatted her up and she reacted instantly with bubbly feminine energy.

She was sure that it was a prank and she kept asking what I want. I surprised as I thought I was direct verbally and non-verbally. So interaction was based mostly on calming her down but I did also tease her quite a bit. When the conversation is fun and flirty, I forget the model and loose my brakes.

She was investing a lot and as she didn’t have plans after eating her dinner, I suggested getting drinks that evening. We made tentative plans then and there. She was a bit hesitant but was playing along. I thought it was super fun when she said that she would be a bitch to give her number.

I send her a WhatsApp message with my name just after departing. After I finished my walk I send a feeler message to she her emotional state. I do get lots of flakes as I usually forget the boring investment part and stay in the fun attraction for too long. I don’t get any reply and I started to play with my phone. I realize that I have Noemi Businesswoman and Noemi Shy Businesswoman on my phone. Pictures matched just with a different number and then I remember she having said that she changed her number recently.

This was the first time a daygamed the same girl twice and both times gotten her number. The fun part was that neither of us remembered the first time that happened 5 months ago.

So she flaked both times on me. This time, interaction was solid enough in my opinion. So I think she noticed that I have chatted her up twice on the street and was creeped out about it. I still had the same WhatsApp picture. Tomorrow is time to call out the elephant in the room! It seems that even Budapest isn’t big enough that these occurrences wouldn’t happen.

10th January 2016
Budapest, Hungary
October 2015 – January 2016

Immediately after moving from Finland to Hungary I noticed that I will have to update my way to interact with women. The way how Hungarian girls present themselves to a man (at least) in surface level was very different compared to what I was used to in Finland. At first, I saw it as a great opportunity to grow as a man. After all girl is a wonderful mirror showing your weaknesses and strengths as a man.

After meeting several girls, I faced my unwillingness to change and accommodate to a new dating culture. I felt that façade of innocence that girls put out was fake. I had a hard time to believe that I had to act differently with Hungarian girls. Along with language barrier, this led to a situation that I didn’t enjoy dates as much I used to in Finland. Even girl’s physical attractiveness didn’t help.

When I met few girls that I actually enjoyed spending time, it naturally meant more to me. Girl of this story was a girl that I immediately felt that I would enjoy spending time with. After bantering on Happn (dating app), we set up a date to get drinks in my neighborhood.

I went get her from to nearby metro station. Seeing her in the black skirt, high heels and glitter in her eyes affirmed my gut feeling that I would get along with her. Talking with her was effortless and felt natural to be very close to her. I took a mental note on her bossiness from begin which I gathered was normal for a lawyer girl.

We sat down for drinks and food on the terrace of the restaurant next to my place. Being close and bantering was pleasurable with her. Admiring her figure under black dress energized me. Touching her felt natural. She had a cute unique face that was radiant and adorable voice. But I learned in my previous relationship that there is usually pain behind such joyful front.

I was attracted to her and I took to my apartment where I soon kissed her and as we laid in my “bed” (= my sorry excuse for a bed that I built from tent mattress and blankets). I felt the passion that I rarely feel while touching a girl and started undressing her. She seemed horny but stopped me. She was already a mixture of tangled clothes and pure nudeness. I went for it multiple times as I super aroused.

She kept telling that she wasn’t comfortable yet to have sex. For some reason, she also felt the need to tell me that she only sex with six guys before and also that she was still in love with her ex-boyfriend. Yet she had after that already have had a long fuckbuddy relationship, which had been very fulfilling to her sexually. For some reason, I still accepted logically that she wasn’t ready to have sex yet.

Going Downhill
Afterwards, we kept seeing once every week or two weeks. Meeting not too often has been my way to show that I don’t want to pursue a serious relationship. Although I genuinely liked her I knew that I would leave the country soon. We had dates in restaurant, bath house and my place. After we didn’t have sex at the first time I lost some drive to show my attraction to her and replaced it with stupid mind games. I went to stories about my Finnish gay lovers and pushed her away. However, next time we met we fooled around some.

Her behavior changed. Every time we met after few minutes she said that she didn’t want to have sex. To my detriment, I didn’t react to this but just ignored it and my desires as a man as I still thought she was attractive. She also kept asking me if I liked her and if I thought she was pretty. Sadly I ignored these completely by being aloof and joking.

Fourth time we saw she came to my place bake cookies. She remembered to say this time as well that she didn’t want to have sex. After baking cookies she said that she wants to have sex as she had a six-month dry spell. She kept changing her mind and went back and forth while I didn’t put any effort to convince her or owning the situation by showing my passion for her.

What finally resulted was, I’m sure, the worst sex experience that neither of has ever had. She didn’t want any intimacy but just get it in to get over of mental barrier of not having sex for a long time. For some reason, I still appreciated the humor in the situation. She already earlier mentioned that she loves anal sex but that I didn’t deliver. Although I was completely up for it.

Afterwards, we kept still meeting as I enjoyed her company and feeling seem to be mutual. She took the effort to touch me and be close. She also showed interest to me asking many questions and trying to connect. As I knew that relationship was over as man-to-woman way, I become more aloof and didn’t put effort on connecting with her. I didn’t show any physical interest to her although I was still attracted to her. We didn’t have sex after the first time and she continued to begin every meet that she didn’t want to have sex.

She invited kindly me to spend Christmas with her family but I was set to travel in the Balkans during holidays. She also tried to introduce me to her friends which I ignored. After three weeks I returned and I was happy to meet her again. As I didn’t lead as a man should have, we had some back and forth discussion what to do. Finally, we decided to cook at my place on her suggestion. She also started this meet saying that she doesn’t want to have sex. While we were cooking she told me that she met a guy through Happn. They had a great time during holidays and they would keep seeing each other as man-to-woman. Although they wouldn’t pursue a serious relationship.

Hearing it I knew I that I hit a rock bottom as a man in this relationship and there wouldn’t be more to do than excuse myself politely from meeting her further. In which I failed miserably. In that moment, I didn’t own the fact that my actions or failure of being a man to her had led to this. After few years, it was the first time I felt any jealousy. I was completely okay that she meets other guys but the fact that she was having sex others but not with me was too much for my ego.

I failed to appreciate her honesty and exert my boundaries as a man by telling her reasons why I couldn’t keep seeing her anymore. This is my story of a failure to apply principles that I already knew to be true but failed to apply, which forced me to revise these lessons.

Lessons learned:
1. Lead every interaction with women. Selecting venues, leading conversations, observing and appreciating her beauty every level, reveling my intentions/desires and going for what I want
2. Exercising my boundaries. It is not okay that girl comes to meet you on a date and she tells you that she doesn’t want to have sex. You have to address the issue and tell that you are attracted to her but if the feeling is not mutual, you shouldn’t keep meeting.
3. Girls are sexual creatures. If she is not fucking you, she is fucking someone else. Own your desires and go for unapologetically what you want. Girls will test, don’t listen to their words but actions. If she comfortable to be close to you go for it, girls like to be taken.
4. Connect with her emotionally. If girls make genuine effort to connect with you, let her. Open and share about yourself in an appropriate way. In return appreciate everything about her you like.
5. Make your intentions clear. Don’t stay aloof but explain clearly what kind of relationship you want to have with the girl. A confused girl is one that will not open up to you in emotional or physical level.

After I told the girl in question that I don’t want to keep seeing her, I sent this story to her for review. Here is her response.